The 10 steps to mastering NLP
1. Understand what you’re getting into
Mastering NLP is not an easy thing to do. Many – or more accurately – most people can’t even manage to control their brain enough to get them out of bed on time in the morning – let alone completely revamp the inner workings of their conscious mind. The lifelong pursuit of mastering NLP is nothing short of the lifelong pursuit over mastery of the self. This short guide will point you in the right direction towards that path.
2. Know what NLP is
Much disinformation has been spread about NLP, and for good reason; it’s dangerous. Not dangerous to you and me of course, but dangerous to the institutions which rely on people having problems to make money. The pharmaceutical industry, professional psychiatrists, psychologists, and the enormous “self-help” industry all rely on you needing someone or something, usually a product, to make you better.
3. Know how NLP works
We all know the story of the pink elephant. I say pink elephant and you think of a pink elephant. It’s inevitable. This simple idea of Garbage In Garbage Out (GIGO), to take a term from the computer industry, can be seen as the same exact basis for NLP. Instead of finger-pointing blame to your problems and then prescribing a solution (usually a pill), NLP recognizes that there is input coming into your brain, recognizes your ability to change it, and then gives you a technique with which to do so.
4. Know the history of NLP and how it has evolved over time
Richard Bandler and John Grinder perhaps did not know what they were getting into back in 1975 when they created NLP. Today NLP has spawned into a multi-million dollar business with practitioners all across the world. While NLP has evolved extensively into the modern day, it is always a good idea to go back and look at the origins of the techniques you see today.
5. Learn from the masters
When you think of NLP masters you might think of people like Tony Robbins, Paul McKenna, and Derren Brown. While these people have popularized NLP to the mainstream, if you are looking to master the basics it is probably best to look elsewhere. People like Connie Rae Andreas, Robert Dilts, Charles Faulkner and Shlomo Vaknin have all written excellent books about understanding and eventually mastering the concepts behind NLP.
6. Know that there is no one way to master NLP
Once you start to get involved very deeply with NLP you will start to learn that NLP is as open ended and rife with possibilities as the human mind itself. Want to eliminate fear completely? It is possible. Want to create your own “magnificent obsession” for working out? There is a skill for that. Think you can’t master astrophysics? Think again. Everyone has their own path and their own preferences; pick yours and use NLP as a tool, not as a bible.
7. Experiment
Once you understand the basics it is time to get dirty. If you are focusing on yourself get ready to get in touch with your innermost thoughts and emotions. For some people it may be the first time they’ve ever challenged their internal beliefs about the way they see the world, how they operate and what their capable of. I mean this as no exaggeration, it may be very scary what you can potentially find.
8. Create your own interpretation
Once you have begun to get familiar with how your brain works and have mastered the techniques already laid out by the founders of NLP, you are going to want to branch out. Remember there is no dogma for NLP. In the field of trying to consciously control how your brain works and subsequently creating a map, or an operating manual for the human brain, we are just beginning to scratch the surface.
9. Extend your limits
This is where things really get fun. When you realize that there is no limit to the potential of the human mind, what will you do? If you could become anyone you wanted, who would you be? If there is something that has not been done before, why not do it? For most people this too much. Learning a technique or two for eliminating a phobia will suffice for your layperson, but when it comes to mastering NLP, the ceiling is non-existent.
10. Have fun
This is probably the most important step. In between conquering the world, your fears and your craving for that coconut cream pie, remember the adventure will be what you make it. How you take to NLP should be exactly how you would ideally like to feel about life itself. Don’t make it “work”, don’t make it rigid, have fun and make it your own. This is where your success will come from.
NLP Video – Richard Bandler – What is NLP? Neuro linguistic programming.
For more information, see http://www.abetterlife-perth.com.au/hypnosis.shtml
Tuesday 21 May 2013
Friday 3 May 2013
From: L. Michael Hall
2013 Meta-Coach Reflections #13
April 4, 2013
WHAT DO YOU DO
ABOUT
AN ANTI-LEARNING PROGRAM?
I recently read several books by Chris Argyris, an original thinker about management, leadership, learning, change, etc. I was particularly interested when he described an anti-learning process which he called “a defensive structure.” Such defensive structures can be in both individuals and groups and as such work as formidable obstacles against learning. It is not only that we do not learn, it is that in such conditions, we cannot learn. There are structure that prevent learning. It operates like an antidote to learning.
Now have you ever had those kind of thoughts about another person, a client, a group (an organization or company) or even about yourself?
“What’s wrong with him, can’t he ever learn?” “I’ve told her a dozen times and she still doesn’t seem to get it!” “The group just keeps having the same argument over and over and we don’t ever seem to learn or move on. What’s going on?”
If you have ever experienced a situation like that, there is a strong likelihood that an anti-learning program (frame) was at work at a meta-level operating outside-of-conscious awareness. If the behaviors, languaging, and responses keep happening and it seems like learning is never achieved, it would probably be a good guess that there is a governing frame that is actually forbidding it.
Now if this is the case, how could a person or a group get themselves into that kind of quandry? Surely no individual or group would set something like that up on purpose! Woudl they? Surely, that kind of a thing would have to come about inadvertently, accidently, and as an unexpected consequence of something else. But what?
This is where Argyris’ description of it as a “defensive structure” is so useful. This suggests that the structure is there defending us against something. It must be a defense against some threat or danger. Given that, what would be some threat or danger to learning? Would it not be that what we would learn would be a perceived threat to our sense of self whether to ourselves or in the presence of others? So let’s make a list. It could be a threat or danger to —
∙ Being right: What if we learn that we are wrong about something?
∙ Being honest: What if we learn that we have been dishonest about something? That we lied, or betrayed a value?
∙ Being moral: What if we learn that we have done someone wrong? Violated them or hurt them in some way?
∙ Being ineffective: What if we learn that our hard work and extra hours amounted to nothing, was ineffective, didn’t achieve our objectives, etc.?
∙ Being less than we thought: What if we learn that our management was just mediocre, our leadership was less than inspiring, that the role that we cared so much about has been a disappointment?
In these ways and many more, what if we discover something which we do not want to discover about ourselves? Can we face the truth? Can we embrace a negative evaluation about ourselves or something we did or cared about? Ah, yes, it is here at these kinds of things that we most often find ourselves weak and vulnerable and so we build up defenses against them. We do not want to learn about such. Such things are “hard” truths— things are hard to hear, hard to see, and hard to say.
And, besides, we want to be positive, don’t we? We want to be an optimist, to look on the bright side of things, to be hopeful, and encouraging, and we don’t want to be a gloom-and-doom type of person, so it is in this way that we inadvertently and not-intentionally build up assumptive frames that work outside of our awareness to keep these hard truths away from us. And it is these defensive structures that operate as anti-learning programs.
Now does any of this have any relevance to coaching? You bet it does! This now gives you another distinction to make regarding your clients. It gives you more questions to ask:
What do you want to learn? What learning do you need to make to be more successful?
What do you need to un-learn? What old learnings are now in the way?
What do you fear learning? What anti-learning tendencies or frames might be holding you back from learning?
Picking up on the double loop of learning from Bateson and the MRI group, Argyris talked about superficial learning. This occurs when a person learns too fast. Well, at least it seems too fast. Something happens and a person quickly jumps to a conclusion, makes a new learning, and off he goes. Yet if there is no double-loop of learning, that is, no stepping back to examine the frames you used in your first learning, no asking, “What framed led me to draw the conclusions that I did?” “How did I interpret things in that way?” “How accurate or useful is that?” then the first learnings may be too shallow, too superficial, and unuseful in the long run.
For more information, see: Hypnosis
2013 Meta-Coach Reflections #13
April 4, 2013
WHAT DO YOU DO
ABOUT
AN ANTI-LEARNING PROGRAM?
I recently read several books by Chris Argyris, an original thinker about management, leadership, learning, change, etc. I was particularly interested when he described an anti-learning process which he called “a defensive structure.” Such defensive structures can be in both individuals and groups and as such work as formidable obstacles against learning. It is not only that we do not learn, it is that in such conditions, we cannot learn. There are structure that prevent learning. It operates like an antidote to learning.
Now have you ever had those kind of thoughts about another person, a client, a group (an organization or company) or even about yourself?
“What’s wrong with him, can’t he ever learn?” “I’ve told her a dozen times and she still doesn’t seem to get it!” “The group just keeps having the same argument over and over and we don’t ever seem to learn or move on. What’s going on?”
If you have ever experienced a situation like that, there is a strong likelihood that an anti-learning program (frame) was at work at a meta-level operating outside-of-conscious awareness. If the behaviors, languaging, and responses keep happening and it seems like learning is never achieved, it would probably be a good guess that there is a governing frame that is actually forbidding it.
Now if this is the case, how could a person or a group get themselves into that kind of quandry? Surely no individual or group would set something like that up on purpose! Woudl they? Surely, that kind of a thing would have to come about inadvertently, accidently, and as an unexpected consequence of something else. But what?
This is where Argyris’ description of it as a “defensive structure” is so useful. This suggests that the structure is there defending us against something. It must be a defense against some threat or danger. Given that, what would be some threat or danger to learning? Would it not be that what we would learn would be a perceived threat to our sense of self whether to ourselves or in the presence of others? So let’s make a list. It could be a threat or danger to —
∙ Being right: What if we learn that we are wrong about something?
∙ Being honest: What if we learn that we have been dishonest about something? That we lied, or betrayed a value?
∙ Being moral: What if we learn that we have done someone wrong? Violated them or hurt them in some way?
∙ Being ineffective: What if we learn that our hard work and extra hours amounted to nothing, was ineffective, didn’t achieve our objectives, etc.?
∙ Being less than we thought: What if we learn that our management was just mediocre, our leadership was less than inspiring, that the role that we cared so much about has been a disappointment?
In these ways and many more, what if we discover something which we do not want to discover about ourselves? Can we face the truth? Can we embrace a negative evaluation about ourselves or something we did or cared about? Ah, yes, it is here at these kinds of things that we most often find ourselves weak and vulnerable and so we build up defenses against them. We do not want to learn about such. Such things are “hard” truths— things are hard to hear, hard to see, and hard to say.
And, besides, we want to be positive, don’t we? We want to be an optimist, to look on the bright side of things, to be hopeful, and encouraging, and we don’t want to be a gloom-and-doom type of person, so it is in this way that we inadvertently and not-intentionally build up assumptive frames that work outside of our awareness to keep these hard truths away from us. And it is these defensive structures that operate as anti-learning programs.
Now does any of this have any relevance to coaching? You bet it does! This now gives you another distinction to make regarding your clients. It gives you more questions to ask:
What do you want to learn? What learning do you need to make to be more successful?
What do you need to un-learn? What old learnings are now in the way?
What do you fear learning? What anti-learning tendencies or frames might be holding you back from learning?
Picking up on the double loop of learning from Bateson and the MRI group, Argyris talked about superficial learning. This occurs when a person learns too fast. Well, at least it seems too fast. Something happens and a person quickly jumps to a conclusion, makes a new learning, and off he goes. Yet if there is no double-loop of learning, that is, no stepping back to examine the frames you used in your first learning, no asking, “What framed led me to draw the conclusions that I did?” “How did I interpret things in that way?” “How accurate or useful is that?” then the first learnings may be too shallow, too superficial, and unuseful in the long run.
For more information, see: Hypnosis
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